Musings from Mexico

Leaving Mexico last year left me with the same doubts and questions I had at the beginning of this year concerning whether I belonged in Mexico and whether our efforts were making any difference. Instead of spending the year brainstorming about new ideas for Mexico or figuring out if God really wanted me there, God took me to Summit Semester and Rivendell where my attention was focused in a different direction. Despite this, throughout the weeks there, God really answered my prayers in surprising ways.

First of all, he reminded me to live moment by moment, instead of trying to figure out the future in one day. For the past couple years, I had it set it my mind that I would be doing youth ministry and missions long term. Whether this really is God's plan for my life doesn't really matter at the present moment since I will never know my future. My goal is not to figure out God's plans for my life, but to live lovingly and obediently every day, to take captive every moment he has given me, and to remember that each breath I take is a gift from the One who sustains my life.

Second of all, God gave me an answer to my doubts about whether or not VBS was worth the time and money and whether it was actually making a difference in the lives of the children we ministered to each year, God truly showed me our efforts are worth it. Because of my family and church's many years of missions work in Mexico, relationships have grown, and I really saw the fruit of that this year. One of these fruits was Josue, whom I have known since my first year in Mexico, eleven years ago. He has gone from a childish boy to a young man strong in his faith and zealous for his Savior. He traveled with us to many of the VBS's leading music, teaching lessons, moving felts, and using a microphone to draw children in. He is only fourteen and stands up for his beliefs despite his peers opposition to his beliefs. Despite his age, he is such an example to me, and God really used him to show me that relationships there are worth the effort. Josue is worth the effort. Oh, how I love that boy. It was so hard to leave him this year.

 New relationships also are beginning to flourish, and through this, new ministry opportunities are presenting themselves through God's great plan. This was also encouraging to discover. 

 Kids would come up to many of us asking if were were going to make the salvation bracelets or if they would be given t shirts to color or whether we would be having a water balloon fight again. The children remember that we come down every year and they remember what we do with them. My prayer is that they would remember the love of Christ that we try so hard to share with them and that seeds would be planted in each of their little hearts so that in years to come, they would look back on their childhood and remember, not us but Christ in us and that that would make all the difference. 

In two locations, Santa Cruz and Cuitaca, I found two little children to whom I devoted my attention. They were both sweet joys in the daily struggle of doing something I did not have the desire or strength to do. It seemed as though my heart was not involved with the work during the week of VBS like it had been in past years. I really think God used those children in my life even as I may have been used in their life. As I showed them kindness since those around them were ignoring them, He showed me that even through my efforts that seem insignificant to me, He can do great and mighty things. God works in beautiful ways.

Through these happenings, God helped me realize that my work as a follower of Jesus is not about the results that I see within people, but that my focus should constantly be on being a light in this dark world. I can do this by being an example, by sharing Christ's great love in all that I do and say. 

Thirdly, God revealed to me a spiritual gift(administrative: 1 Corinthians 12) that he has given me. I have always loved scheduling and organizing things. This year I was able to do a lot of that from writing schedules for girl's camp and the VBS week to assigning people to different teams to writing fliers and menus. Most people seem to look at challenges like that and get thoroughly confused, but I find great joy and satisfaction in the challenge. I was also able to lead a few of the meetings we had, which was pretty crazy. In previous years I would have been extremely nervous doing something like that, but God gave me the strength and courage to use the gift he has given me. Knowing of this gift and how practical it is gives me great joy and really excites me to see how God will use it in me.

When I decided to go to Mexico this year, despite only returning home after five months of being away, I had no clue God had all these lessons in store for me. The two weeks there were incredibly challenging and difficult, but focusing on my source of strength and joy gave me the perseverance to push on. I am so glad he kept challenging me, otherwise my character would not be sharpened like it is today. These lessons learned do not solely affect me in Mexico, but affect me daily here in Utah.

"Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this gracein which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." Romans 5:1-5