New Habits in My Mind.....

....inspired by "Habits of the Mind" by James Sire

At Semester, we talked a lot about being an intellectual and what an intellectual looks like. During our family meetings we discussed a book called Habits of the Mind; however we never were able to finish it. So when I got home, I finished it, and loved it so much that I thought I would blog a little bit about what I grasped from it and how I’m practically applying it to my life. And why not start off with intellectualism?

What exactly is an intellectual? A dictionary definition says this: possessing a highly developed intellect. A Christian intellectual possesses a highly developed intellect but it is used for the glory of God. A Christian intellectual pursues two things: holiness and truth. To be holy one must set themself apart to serve God alone and to form their character to be like Christ’s. Pursuing truth encompasses knowing the truth and obeying it. The author of this book brought up a point that I had never considered before. To know the truth, one must obey the truth. To believe the truth, one must act on it. However, even as Christians, how many of us really obey and act on truths we believe in the Bible? How much fuller would our lives be if we obeyed the truth that Christ presented? I find this very convicting in my life. There are many things that I “believe” in, however, I don’t obey them. Does this really mean then, that I don’t believe in them? For example, I believe that God is trustworthy; however, many times I don’t find myself trusting in him especially in not knowing what the future holds for me. So it follows that I really don’t believe that God is trustworthy. And this is a major dilemma in my mind. I want to trust God, but I do not. My weakness saddens me, yet I know that God is merciful and will have compassion on me as I slowly learn to trust him wholeheartedly.

Being an intellectual does not mean that the main focus is the mind. The mental life is directly related with the physical life, or in other words, the thoughts with character. What one thinks about, what one spends its time studying and reading in turn affects the way one acts. What one thinks about is what they do, or at least should do. I know I am not yet an intellectual, but I long to be one. I do not love ideas as I should. I do not play with them, laugh at them, turn them upside down, or judge them as I should. I give up too easily. I don’t find the answers I need. I give up to easily. However, I can see a great difference in the way I thought and acted on my thoughts from before I went to Semester compared to life at home again. And I will press on towards being a Christian intellectual, glorifying God in all that I think about, read, study, and talk about.

Reflections on Summit Semester

For our last project at Semester, Dustin had all of us write a reflective paper on our time at Semester. Mine summarizes my time there and the most important changes that occurred to me; there was so much more that I could write, however I remembered how long my blog was. :) My sonnet written for the English Literature class is located at the end of this blog as well. It definitely describes what I am going through now that I'm home. So I thought I would share them with ya'll. Enjoy reading.

Months before coming to Summit Semester, I imagined what life would be like here, having many aspirations in mind. What excited me most was the privilege of living among like minded Christ followers, being challenged daily through work and study, learning and gleaning wisdom from scholars, and having my Creator shape my character to look more and more like his. I never imagined my yearnings to be fulfilled in the ways they were.

Through the community aspect, I have learned exactly what relationships are. A relationship is Christ centered and is not one way but consists of two persons. In order for a relationship to be fruitful, I must give all my efforts into it without expecting anything in return. I must be selfless, not focusing on what I need, but on what my friend needs. In addition to this, I learned that relationships are vital in this life. At one point during this semester, I had the inkling to give up on relationships. I did not see growth, and my desires were not being fulfilled. However, the Holy Spirit revealed to me the wrong I was committing. My focus had only been on myself and my needs, instead of on the other person’s needs. Once I discovered this, I began to change my attitude towards relationships. I started to focus on a few friendships instead of trying to become friends with all thirty students. Due to this revelation and repentance, I now have a few kindred spirits with whom I spend most of my time. Moreover, I learned how to communicate, whether confronting another student with a problem or expressing my thoughts on a particular subject. Communication is key to healthy relationships and to every aspect of life in general. This knowledge I applied even to relationships among family members and friends at home through phone calls, letters, or emails. Because of it, I have peaceful, honest relationships that I have longed for a long time. I learned much about myself and the reasons for why I act the way I do. The students at Semester encouraged me to be patient with myself as I strive to act and think like Christ. Also, I learned to respect their beliefs and opinions, although not always the same as mine. I thoroughly enjoyed living among like-minded believers. I have seen young guys act like polite and caring gentlemen and young women defend and fight for their beliefs with fervor. Their words and deeds are an encouragement to me that I will not forget.

Challenges at Semester were evident daily: trying to glorify God while sanding with a painful wrist; formulating my thoughts to verbally defend my beliefs; reading page after page of thought provoking books; studying for quizzes; sharing my struggles in small group; lacking sleep due to late night conversations; being patient with extroverts who verbally process all their thoughts; surviving two bouts of head colds; and not being able to drink milk daily. I would not trade these difficulties for anything simpler or easier because through each trial, my character improved slightly. Although I have a long way to go, I can tell that I have become less impatient, less proud, and less frustrated when challenges come my way. I can count it all joy when trials are prevalent because I have seen how I have grown through the trials here at Summit Semester.

I am overjoyed and so grateful to my Father for the privilege of studying and learning under Mike Mandt, J.P. Moreland, John Stonestreet, Eric Smith, Donald Williams, and especially, Dr. Bauman. My mind is compressed with information regarding physics, philosophy, culture, the Bible, poetry, philology, church history, politics, and English literature. Although all the professors instilled in me new ideas and subjects, methods of study, and a desire to learn more, Dr. Bauman impacted me the most. He taught me to think logically, concisely, and deeply. His voice will ever be in my head: “Do your theology like Jesus did. Think and act like Jesus did.” His style of teaching, questioning and attacking everything, scared me to death when I first arrive at Summit. I feared him calling on me, and when he did, I fumbled, I shook, I sweated. But as time went on and I was called on more often, and when not called on, I began preparing my thoughts just in case he did call on me again. That was his purpose, to cause me to think hard about consequential ideas. He desired for me to have solid, sound beliefs and opinions based on Jesus’ way of thinking and acting. Because of Dr. Bauman, my thinking, my writing, my teaching, and my reading methods will never be the same.

All these aspects of Summit Semester have shaped my character into one that reflects Christ. I am aware of how much more I have to learn and accomplish, but I believe that I am well on my way to finishing the race set out before me. I will endure the trials that are before me with perseverance through my renewed trust in Jesus Christ my Lord. His faithfulness and patience towards my failings have cause me to love and adore him more than I ever have. His showers of grace have caused me to realize the sinner I am, but also how much I am loved by him. He has shown me my need for his presence and his word when I become discouraged in this fight for his kingdom. His compassion and mercies are new every morning. My character and spirit have been strengthened, restored, and renewed in great many ways here at Summit Semester. I do not believe I would be the person I am today without going through the trials and joys in the beautiful Rocky Mountains.

I thank God for this “once in a lifetime” chance to live at Snow Wolf Lodge among the beauty of creation and people, the grandeur of ideas and beliefs, the thrill of study and work, the delight of discovering and learning, and the joy of being shaped and challenged. I give my Lord Jesus Christ all the glory and honor for what he has done in me and through me at Summit Semester. He is an outstanding God who has given me an exceptional experience. May he be praised forever.

Future Free

His plans for my life are vaguely hidden.

Troubled, I contemplate what will come next.

Striving to listen, my heart is perplexed,

Asking what precisely has He bidden.

Imagining life in the world after

These three months of living in solitude

Causes great apprehension in my mood.

Assurance in His promises shatter.

Faintly He speaks to my burdensome heart,

“Remember, always will I be with you.

My faithfulness to you is indeed true.

I will not forget to fulfill my part.”

I shall not dread the unknown days to come,

Instead will trust in Him, the Faithful One.

Final blog from Summit Semester

November 28^th, Monday

Eric Smith has been finishing up his last hours of teaching with us today. We have three hours left tomorrow, and then no more lectures left for the rest of Semester. L His teaching today really intrigued me. We were talking about covenants, old and new. Here’s a bit that I learned…. There can be either one way or two way covenants. One way consists of God promising something and the other party not having to do anything in return. Two way is described as God promising to do something only if the other party will do something also. There were four covenants in the Old Testament: the Noahic covenant, the Abrahamic covenant, the Mosaic covenant, and the Davidic covenant. The Noahaic covenant was one way: God promised to never flood the earth again. Noah didn’t have to do anything in return. The Abrahamic covenant was one way: God promised many blessings to Abraham. The Mosaic covenant was two way: God gave the law to the Israelites promising to protect and care for them only if they obeyed the law. The Davidic covenant was another one way covenant: God promised to give David an offspring that would last forever. David had nothing to do with it.

Hebrews 8,9, and 10 presents the idea of a new covenant, a covenant that is superior to the old covenant. This new covenant replaces the Mosaic or Sinaitic covenant. It has nothing to do with the Noahic. Jesus fulfilled the Davidic. And the Abrahamic is yet to be fulfilled if you believe that the promised land is heaven and that Abraham’s descendants include all people. Differences between the Mosaic covenant and the new covenant are the following: Jesus only had to sacrifice once and for all while other priests had to sacrifice over and over again. Priests were never allowed to sit down in the temple because they had to sacrifice constantly; when Jesus sacrificed himself and ascended into heaven, he sat down at the right hand of God. Jesus is the high priest; he couldn’t be a regular priest because he wasn’t of the line of the Levites. People had to sacrifice every time they sinned, but Jesus didn’t have to enter heaven again and again, just once.

I find it quite interesting to see the differences between the four covenants in the Old Testament; to see whether they are fulfilled by Jesus or replaced with the new covenant; and to study the differences between the old covenant and the new. I’m really enjoying studying the Bible and learning so many new things I have never pondered before. God’s word has so many surprises in it, and I don’t think I’ll ever be done studying it, which is fine by me.

November 29^th, Tuesday

Today was a day of lasts…last work crew, last small group, and last day of classes. It’s so strange to think of leaving this place in three days. I’m trying to prepare myself for going home, however, I don’t know what to expect. I keep thinking it’ll be just like when I left, working constantly, exhausted constantly, driving everywhere, packing, doing lots of youth events, etc. I didn’t enjoy that time very much, and honestly I don’t want life to be that way when I get home. So I’m trying not to think of it in that way. It’s incredibly difficult to not try to imagine life the same. I know it won’t be the same though. My character, my values, my thoughts, my relationship have all changed drastically. I do not think life can go on in that similar way with how things have progressed here at Semester. We’ll see I guess.

November 30^th, Wednesday

More lasts today… last regular breakfast together, last “field trip” together( we went to Durango for a couple of hours), and last dish crew( that made me want to cry when I realized Delta Force didn’t have dish crew again. )

During our family meeting this morning we discussed going home. It has been described as a culture shock by alumni, so Dustin warned us of this and what to expect and how to adjust. He said that a depression will probably set in for the first couple of weeks. He also reminded us that we’re not the only ones who have changed; our families and friends have changed as well. I’m glad I know a bit of what to expect instead of just expecting it to be just like when I left.

A couple weeks ago when I figured out we would be leaving each other so soon, I teared up quite a bit. Now that we’re two days away from leaving, I feel like I don’t have any emotions in me. And yes, I do feel that way. One of my new pet peeves is when people use the word, feel, to describe everything. Anyway… Super weird, especially for majorly emotional Abi Metzger. I didn’t even cry when I had my exit interview with Dustin this evening. We went over what my goals were when I got here, if they had been fulfilled, what my goals for the future are, and what kind of schedule I would be implementing when I go home. Very practical and important, I think.

December 1^st, Thursday

Happy December 1^st!!! Only one day left. I’m super excited to go home, honestly, but I know I’ll be a wreck leaving. Another family meeting was held this morning in which we discussed a book called “ A Little Exercise for Young Theologians”, which I have yet to read. It’s supposed to help us in our transition back home, teaching us to have grace towards people and to not treat people like they are stupid. Hurrah. We also discussed how to find and choose a church and what are important priorities for a church to have. All in all, it was an interesting meeting and helped prep me more for going home.

After dinner, parents began arriving for graduation tomorrow. It’s a pleasure to meet different families and see how they are like my friends, but with them here, I know that our time here at Summit Semester is coming to a close. And that makes me pretty sad. My family arrives tomorrow, and I am so stoked! I can’t wait to see their shining faces!

This evening all the students took part in a cleaning party with chips and soda and sugar!!!! Kara and I packed a lot of our stuff and started cleaning our room. Super sad to see my shelves and desk and closet become empty. I don’t think going home is a reality yet, but at the same time it is. Hmmmm…

December 4^th, Sunday

Well, I am now home. Friday was spent packing, writing my blurb for graduation, and waiting in expectation for my mom, sister and brother to arrive. They finally arrived at 4 in the afternoon. I almost cried seeing them! I was so excited. Graduation occurred at 5. After the girls got dressed up, the guys came over to our lodge and escorted us to the main lodge. We ate a 3 course meal and dessert, then all of us students stood up and said something about our time at Semester. I bawled the whole time I said mine. However, I wasn’t embarrassed because they are my family. J Then we were each given a diploma, a rose or shirt depending on the gender, the book “Pilgrim Theology” written by Bauman, and a booklet with our blogs, sonnets, and information. After we had all graduated, a slideshow of pictures was presented, bringing a few tears. Once we had cleaned up the dining hall and kitchen, the long lasting dance party began. Twas super duper fun with reels, swing dancing, and just jumping around. I stayed up until 3 talking, eating freshly baked French bread, crying, and trying not to fall asleep. I then woke up at 6 in order to say goodbye to six of the students who had early flights. I entered the lodge with Kara, my room mate, and found mostly everyone crying and hugging each other. As I hugged the six good bye, tears flowed and didn’t stop for a long while. I then packed up the rest of my belongings, wrote Thing 1(Kara) and Thing 3(Maggie) letters, and prepared to leave. After crying a ton more and hugging everyone goodbye(goodbyes I will never forget), I walked down to the car with Maggie, Kara, and my siblings. On our way down, Steven summit saluted me from the porch, never will I forget that either. I finally had to say goodbye to those girls whom I love, the worst thing I’ve ever had to do. L After many hours in the car with more tears, I arrived home at ten. It was very different and strange to be home; it still is. I really wish I was back at Semester with everyone, but I know I am where God wants me. I know that we couldn’t stay there forever. It was just a time of preparation and now we’re equipped to further God’s kingdom all the more. I know that it will take a while to adjust to life back at home, but I’m trusting in my Father to give me strength and courage to do so. I will never forget Summit Semester. It was the best experience of my life. I love everyone there so dearly and will miss them immensely. But I am the Real Man and I will make it through this with perseverance. And so endeth my blogs from Summit Semester.