One Month In....

...two months to go. hehe, that makes it sound like a bad thing. But it's not. It's a great thing! I am surprised at how fast it has gone! Here are my thoughts from the past week:

October 3^rd Monday

Now that I’m finally used to the schedule here at Summit Semester, it gets interrupted. But it’s a good interruption. Eric Smith has come to teach us about the Bible for a week. He taught our first class tonight from 7 to 9. Usually we don’t have class on Mondays because it’s our free day, but he has to get 22 hours of class time a week in order for the college credit(which I didn’t take part in) to apply. He is an intriguing teacher; his knowledge of the Bible and his teaching methods cause me to want to pursue learning about the Bible on a deeper level. In preparation for his arrival, we were supposed to read the first six chapters(139 pages) of The IVP Introduction to the Bible. I completed it today. It took many, many hours, but it was so worth it. It goes through an amazing overview of the Bible(the first six chapters covered the Old Testament) and describes the main themes, messages, relevance for today, main characters, etc in very plain language. I would definitely recommend this book(or what I’ve read) to anyone who desires to get an overview of the Bible in a simple, easy, yet intriguing way.

In addition to The InterVarsity Press Introduction to the Bible, I am also reading Habits of the Mind(Intellectual Life as a Christian Calling). I’m only on the second chapter, but I’m enjoying it. It talks about what an intellect is and how to be an intellect. And I want to be an intellect(though not a snob about it), so it should be very useful. At our family meetings, we are discussing the messages in this book.

In case you’re wondering(since I love schedules), this is my schedule of the week(a little bit changed this week).

Monday is our free day so other than meals or planned events(hiking\camping, trips to town) we have the entire day to ourselves!

8- breakfast(serve yourself if you sleep in)

12:15-lunch

5-Dinner

Tuesday

8-breakfast

9-10:30: Family Meeting

10:30-12: Study Time

12:15: Lunch

1:30-4:30: work crews

5: Dinner

6:30: reading aloud together as a group(right now we’re on Sir Gibby-not a children’s book)

8: small groups

Wednesday

8: breakfast

9-10:30: Solitude

10:30-12:00: Study time

12:15: Lunch

1:30-2:30: Exercise

5: Dinner

7-8:30: Class with Bauman

Thursday

8:breakfast

9-12: Class

12:15: Lunch

1:30-3:00: Class

3:30-4:30: Exercise

5: Dinner

6:30: Reading together

7-8:30: Study time

Friday

8: Breakfast

9-10:30: Class

10:30-12:00: Study time

12:15: Lunch

1:30-2:30: Exercise

5: Dinner

7-8:30: Class

Saturday

8:breakfast

9-12: Class

12:15: Lunch

1:30-3:00: Class

3:30-4:30: Exercise

5: Dinner

6:30: Reading together

7-8:30: Study time

9-10: Bauman’s reading from his book

Sunday

10:Church

12: Lunch at park

12-4: Internet!

5:dinner

7: Movie and discussion(So far we’ve watched Minority Report, The Village, and The Diary of a Mad Black Woman(TERRIBLE!)

October 4^th Tuesday

This morning, in order to figure out what to wear for the day, I looked out the window. To my delight and excitement, it was raining! This is weird for me, but I’ve really been wanting it to get cold. Usually I dread winter’s arrival. I’m pretty sure I want it to get cold because I didn’t bring very many summer clothes, so I’m sick of them. Or maybe it’s just because lodges in Colorado are super cozy during the cold season. Or perhaps it’s because Colorado is prettier than Utah in the fall season. I don’t know what it is, but I’m super excited. It rained all day long and fog drifted among the mountains so beautifully.

Tonight is a bit different than our usual Tuesday nights. The pastor and worship pastor, their families, and the rest of their small group came to eat dinner with us. We also worshiped together for about an hour. Then for small group, both girl small groups got together to make brownies and watch Sabrina. That was pretty fun, although I fell asleep a lot during the movie.

Also I’m super excited because for work crew today I got to bake and cook for three hours. Ha! Plus, I got to learn about the Bible being inspired or not for three hours! Exciting day altogether, I must say. On a sad note, listening to Anberlin makes me miss my siblings. L

October 6^th, Thursay

I LOVE RAIN! It’s been raining for the past three days, and I’m in love with it. I love hearing it pour down on the roof as I sit in class learning how to summarize the Bible into one sentence. I love feeling it on my face as I run to the lodge at 6:30 in the morning to pray with some of my fellow classmates. Ah. I thank God for rain and the beauty it brings.

I’m really enjoying my classes this week which are focusing on Biblical Foundations. So far we have covered the inspiration, transmission, and translation of the Bible, schools of interpretation, theories about inspiration, theories about inerrancy, the canon, the apocrypha, the Bible’s authority, and how and why to study the Bible. Eric Smith is a great teacher, I must say so myself. And IVP is a very helpful book, however, I wish it were more in depth. I guess that’s why it’s an Introduction.

I didn’t expect snow this soon, but it has arrived. Right before lunch we saw the first white signs, and everyone ran excitedly onto the porch yelling, “SNOW!” “It’s snowing!!!” It was a pretty sight and hilarious to watch everyone freak out about it, especially Devon from Florida who has never seen snow. During sports time, the volleyball addicts actually played while it was snowing. I think they are crazy. They’ve been out there for over an hour now. Crazy heads. I’m not much of a snow person, so I’m kind of a loner. But that’s ok. I like watching everyone else get excited. Plus I think the snow is much prettier and nicer out here since I don’t have to drive in it or get stuck in it or shovel it(at least not yet).

October 8^th, Saturday

Evangelical Christians need to change the way they read the Bible. I’m an evangelical Christian. I need to change the way I read my Bible(hehe..those are the kind of argument type things I’m learning to use). Most of what I’m about to write comes from Eric Smith or is a paraphrase of what he said. I agree completely with what he says. “Evangelicals don’t know, broadly speaking, what the Bible teaches. It’s possible to memorize, and not know what it means. It’s possible to be around the church, but not be part of the church, not understand what’s being taught.” “We read the Bible in bits and pieces. We take “pretty” verses and apply them to ourselves(Philippians 4:13, Jeremiah 29:11)(We take them and apply them to our lives even though a lot of the times they aren’t directed towards us at all) And we put them with pretty pictures(this isn’t bad all the time, we just need to watch ourselves). We latch onto verses without understand them or their context. When we know verses here and there, we don’t really have a Christian worldview. We need to know the whole Bible.”

My thoughts: Christians need to change. We need to start reading the Word in it’s context; we need to understand who the author is and who the audience is; we need to stop applying everything to our lives and just read the Word for what it is; we need to know the Word better, so much better…It’s honestly pretty discouraging to see how badly the church has become. We take God’s inspired Word of truth way too lightly. We study it in our “quiet times” because that’s what we ought to do and because we’ve been told to do it for so long. We need to question why exactly we’re studying the Bible; we need to question our motives.

Looking back on this week, I honestly must say, it was exhausting. I took the most naps I have since I got here, and I had to drink lots of caffeine to stay awake during class(it wasn’t boring. I was just super tired). It was spiritually exhausting too. I feel like I’m a mess right now. So prayers would be greatly appreciated right now. J

October 9^th, Sunday

Tonight I get to learn some Greek! One of the mentor’s, Koert, is going to seminary next year, so to refresh his Greek, he decided to teach us what he knows. I’m very very excited. For a long while I have been wanting to go to seminary just to take Greek and Hebrew, so being able to learn a bit of Greek for free is super duper awesome. Hurrah!

Third Week At Summit!!

September 27^th Tuesday

Yesterday I completed the dreaded six mile hike to V Rock. Thankfully, it wasn’t as bad as I had expected. I imagined it to be super steep and slippery with my no-traction-shoes(I didn’t break in my hiking shoes, so I couldn’t wear them). But it was actually a very enjoyable hike. I hiked up the mountain with my friend, Maggie. She hikes and breathes at the same rate that I do, so when we took breaks neither of us were annoyed at the other. I don’t enjoy hiking with hikers who never stop to breathe. I hike with lots of breaks so that I can actually breathe, enjoy the scenery, and take pictures. I got a great work out too, so all in all, hike=success. Our next hike is in two weeks, I believe, at the sand dunes. That should be interesting.

September 28^th Wednesday

“Is there any forgiveness for the things I’ve done? Is there pardon for sinners, I know that I’m one, before you. Would you take this heart of foulness and make it clean again? Would you pour on me your mercy as I confess my sin before you? Point my feet in the way they should go. Place your holy spirit in me. Lead me in the ways everlasting. I long to have a heart that’s pure. I need to have a heart that’s pure. Before you. Oh Lord, forgive me. I need your mercy. Oh Lord, forgive me.”

This is my “theme song” right now. I’m feeling overwhelmed with sin and struggles. For some reason, I didn’t think God would be working in me like he is now. I thought my time here would be all about relationships and learning, not so much about discovering my weaknesses and putting my hope and trust in Christ. But I had it wrong. That’s not a bad thing though. It’s just coming to grip with reality instead of continuing my beliefs about how I thought Semester was supposed to be-some kind of paradise, I guess. I don’t know why I ever thought that.

How did Christianity emerge from Jewish roots? That is a question from my “Church History in Plain Language” book that I will be quizzed on tomorrow morning. The Jews had been expecting a Messiah for thousands of years, but when Jesus came, they didn’t believe he was the one. The disciples, however, did. The Jews rejected Jesus; the disciples accepted him. Stephen, the book says, believed that the temple and the law were temporary while the Pharisees believed they were forever. Everything the Old Testament describes in relation to the law pointed towards Christ. I think that the main difference between Stephen and the Pharisees’ belief (in my own language) was that Stephen believed the law pointed towards Christ and a new law while the Pharisees believed that the law pointed towards their own righteousness. Hopefully this makes sense. It’s a new concept that I’m trying to wrap my mind around.

Tonight for our first lecture of the week, we discussed movies. Bauman focused a lot on the importance of understanding how film producers and directors make movies; they want you to feel or think a certain way. The angles in which the cameras are placed, the music, the themes, the film clichés, etc are all important to watch for when watching a movie. Everything is strategically placed somewhere for a reason and a purpose. So from now on, I’ll definitely be trying harder to watch movies critically and watch for those exact thing.

What really hit me(when he called on me which caused me to look like a complete fool L) was I don’t know why I choose to watch the movies I do. Violence doesn’t affect me, but does that mean I’m desensitized to it? Sexuality and language really affect me in a bad way; I find myself thinking impure thoughts and cursing(in my head) a lot if a movie focuses on those topics. But what is my rating system? When is a movie “bad” or good”? Am I watching movies that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy? And if not, should I be watching those movies? Honestly, this topic of movies is so hard for me, probably just for selfish reasons. I want to watch movies without questioning them too much; I want to be entertained. I don’t want to quit watching movies. But I’m understanding that I need to have a critical view when I’m watching movies. I shouldn’t just be entertained, but figure out what the producers are trying to get me to think and feel and do. And honestly, it’s so hard to be obedient to God when it comes to sacrificing my wants(even for something so small as movies) for the purity He desires in my life. Entertainment is one thing that the world is so good at throwing at me without my knowing that it’s being thrown at me, without knowing that it’s consuming me. Ugh. My brain hurts from thinking so much.

September 30^th Friday

Philosophy is killer. We’ve discussed it the past two days in Church History class. It confuses me profusely, but it also makes me want to learn more about it. I’m excited for philosopher, J.P. Moreland, to come teach us later on this semester. And I’m excited to read “Philosophy in Plain Language”. Maybe then I’ll understand it better. Hopefully.

October 1^st Saturday

I discovered something today. I want to solve every problem this world has to offer me. And I want to solve it right now. By the end of our discussions in class, I want to figure out how to end abortion, if Polycarp’s martyrdom account is really true, how to fight terrorism and war justly, if philosophy and theology can be used simultaneously, how to choose a right spouse, etc. But these topics and issues cannot be solved in an hour and a half of thinking and discussing and debating. They can’t be solved in a day or a week or maybe even in a year. I’m finally understanding that Bauman doesn’t want us to solve the issues in class. He is just teaching us to question and think carefully about everything. When we’re presented with a problem(especially when we leave here), we need to look at it and dig around for answers. Before accepting something at face value, before saying I believe something, I need to think about why I accept or believe it. I need to question everything.

He keeps emphasizing the problem with Christians. Christians aren’t loving God with all their minds. They emphasize loving God with all their heart, soul, and strength. But not their minds. “Christians just skate on the surface of ideas.” We never dig deep to think about things we believe and why. We need to change this. That’s why I’m here, although, I never realized the problem was this complex. When we reason for things we need to base it soley on Christ, not on the church. The church is flawed and led by flawed human beings. “It’s Christ-ianity, not church-ianity.” Our churches may hold traditions or beliefs that can definitely be wrong or faulty. Don’t base beliefs on the church. Base your beliefs on Christ. Ask yourself “If Christ isn’t thinking it or doing it, should I?” Christ needs to be in charge, not the church?

I think this lesson is very important, and I plan on trying my hardest to follow these guidelines and trying to teach others about it.

October 2^nd Sunday

Saturday nights are a highlight for me. Dr. Bauman reads from his “memoirs” book for an hour. His life stories and experiences are hilarious and very interesting. When he reads, it’s nice to see him as a “real” person instead of an interrogator or teacher. And it’s crazy to think about him as a teenager or a marine. haha..I guess you’d have to know him now to understand what I’m talking about.

Yesterday I went on a walk all by myself for some alone time. I’ve realized that I’m pretty much not human without alone time. Anyway, the walk was incredible. All the leaves are changing colors, it smells like fall, and it’s not freezing cold yet. I took lots and lots of pictures and just enjoyed God’s beautiful creation and his company.

PS I thought I'd add this. I think I am finally adjusted to life here at Summit Semester: the intense schedule, tons of reading and studying, small groups, meals, lectures, exercising, solitude, etc. So thank you very much for your prayers. I appreciate them a lot! Relationships here seem to be going to a deeper(and more difficult for some) level as we get to know each other better. I'm very thankful for that.

Thanks for reading! Hopefully it's not too boring or confusing. :)

Semana de Numero Dos

The beautiful mountains I get to see every single day.
My roomie, Kara. I kind of like her lots!


Once again, here are my thoughts from this past week. I hope you enjoy. My grammar\sentence structure probably needs some work(my dad corrected me on last's week blog hehe)(does my title need correcting, dad or mary kate??), but honestly, I try to write all this down as fast as I can when I get the chance. I try my hardest to use my grammar skills, but sometimes I mess up. :) So don't judge me. :) Thanks for reading though!

September 19^th 2011 Monday

Our first outing!

My classmates, all the staff, and I traveled to the “Switzerland of Colorado” today. It took us three hours of winding, mountainous roads to reach our destination. But the car sickness was definitely worth the drive. We drove so high into the mountains that some snow was visible. And the leaves have begun changing, so the scenery was gorgeous-filled with greens, reds, yellows, and browns. The mountains, hills, streams, and small towns were lovely. The small, tourist town(about 7,000 feet in elevation) of Ouray was completely surrounded by towering mountains. Main street was lined with antique shops, jewelry and clothes shops, restaurants, hotels, pubs, and coffee\ice cream\chocolate shops. I window shopped through most of them(not the pubs of course), and also took some time to call family while staring at the enormous mountains around me. On our way back to Snow Wolf Lodge, we stopped at Wal-Mart(YUCK) to buy some essentials. Some of my purchases included hiking boots(for our six mile hike next Monday), ear plugs(I have to study and sleep in complete silence), and milk(I guess milk is too expensive for them to give to us every day). For dinner, all of us girls dressed up in crazy clothes. I’m kind of liking these chicas a lot. J So that’s what an outing day is like here at Summit Semester!

I’m definitely excited to start my second week here at Summit. It has been incredible so far. I’m still learning to adjust to all the changes and homesickness has been a bit overwhelming the past couple days. But I’m looking to my Savior for strength, and He is providing it like usual.

September 20^th 2011 Tuesday

Earplugs=the greatest invention on earth. I used them last night while studying Experiment in Criticism, and I could barely hear myself type on my laptop! Success!

September 21^st 2011 Wednesday

Yesterday we had a discussion during lunch about the American Revolution. The main question was: was the Revolution biblically justified? The “Americans” rebelled against the King. They weren’t rebelling against his authority as the Bible says not to do, but they were rebelling against him because he didn’t fulfill his end of the contract. While reading Historians of the Christian Tradition I realized that in a way God rebelled or in other words, was against the Israelites, because they didn’t keep their end of the covenant. This occurs many times throughout the Old Testament. So in a small way this relates to the American Revolution, and I believe that their rebelling was, in fact, biblically justified. Correct me if I’m wrong, though. That’s why I’m at Summit: to be corrected, to think things through, to formulate reasons and proofs, etc. I just wish I was able to come up with an answer on the spot instead of a day later. L oh well. That’s another reason for my being here!

Tonight I joined a discussion group. Yeah, little shy Abi, hehe.. I thought it would be beneficial to learn how to express my opinions verbally in a smaller group of people instead of among all 31 students. Plus, I have so many questions I need to answer somehow, and there’s very little time here to sit down and try to figure them out( I have a document on my computer labeled. Therefore, if I’m part of a discussion group, I kind of questions”, and I’m writing down every single question that I have or that Bauman asks us and an answer isn’t provided). Tonight we went around the group telling about our academic interests and any classes we’ve taken to help us in our pursuit of those interests. It’s so awesome to see how God has brought people from all over the country to this one place. And everyone has incredible talents and diverse interests, but everyone has the same goal: to serve and glorify our Savior by learning to learn and think and live better. It is so very exciting.

September 22^nd 2011 Thursday

I think the devil is attacking Summit Semester. Even before the Semester started, people began to get hurt. So far we have had or have the following: pulled leg ligaments, a finger bone shattered into eleven pieces, an ear infection, a car accident, a high fever, a pulled neck muscle, and several colds. I wonder if I’ll be next. L

September 23^rd Friday

I think we had the most heated debate\discussion in class tonight. The topic was politics so I was expecting to hear more about political parties. No way. We discussed abortion. Dr. Bauman had us list all the argument for abortion that we could think of. He then wrote them on the board and picked one that we were supposed to prove wrong. The first one, I believe(my brain is a bit muddled because I’m exhausted), was if the baby was a human. I think we came to the conclusion that the baby is a human because it has it’s own genetic code and it develops like a human. People say that it’s not a human because its development is tiny compared to mature adults, but so is a toddler compared to a fourteen year old. Some say it’s not a human because it’s dependant, but all humans are dependant on all humans(we’re dependants on our parents’ insurance policy. just because we’re dependants doesn’t mean they can kill us). So we all concluded that it was a human. The next thing he asked was if your wife was pregnant and got in a car accident and her life and the baby’s life was at stake, who would you pick. This one discussion went on for an hour or longer and everyone came up with different sides. It was insane and by the end of it my mind was completely baffled. Dr. Bauman pointed out something that at first I thought was insane. He said that the couple had sex and knew that it could lead to pregnancy so it’s their moral obligation and responsibility to save the child. The child is innocent and had no part in the parents’ decision, so it should not be punished. Therefore, the baby should be saved instead of the wife\mother. Like I said, it sounded insane at first, and I think it would be the hardest thing ever for a husband to do, but it’s our moral responsibility. Now, so many other factors came up that I can’t even remember, but the responsibility argument was favored by most. I agree with it as well. But the moral of the story or one moral of the story: make sure you discuss this kind of situation with your spouse before you go ahead and have sex. Think about what you could be getting yourself into. I have never thought about this, or thought about it in detail. Like one classmate said, I have thought about it but I didn’t know what I would do, so I just let it go and quit thinking about it. That’s what Dr. Bauman is teaching against. He is teaching us to think, look, think, look for hours, days, weeks, years, until you arrive at an answer, a proof, a logical conclusion. I thank God for the privilege of being here and learning from someone who really cares about us and our minds.

September 24^th Saturday

I’m definitely being humbled right now. At home, I always thought of myself as a really studious student. I studied long and hard for all my tests and quizzes. I planned in advance for everything. And I became proud(although I’m only now realizing it) that I was “better” than my other siblings. I’m truly sorry, guys. L Here, however, everyone seems to study better than I do and get better scores than I do. So I’m definitely being humbled. And I’m trying to figure out how to study well without comparing myself to others. Some classmates have given me a few tips, so I’m beginning to use those, and they’re pretty helpful. God is great. Realizing how proud I am is such a challenge and is quite discouraging at times, but I know it’s a lesson I need to learn.

Wow. Another heated discussion\debate occurred during class this morning. However, it wasn’t as intense as last night’s about abortion. We were discussing Tertullian, an ancient Christian theologian, and his views on heresy and Christian values. He believes that a woman should not adorn themselves (piercings, tattoos, jewelry, etc.) because it’s immodest and glorifies her body. I have reached a decision, a very complicated decision.

First of all, since God doesn’t say in the Bible that you can or can’t adorn yourself, I think it mainly depends on the motive. If you are adorning yourself to impress others or to draw attention to yourself(which is a very fine line), then you’re probably doing it for the wrong reason; pride would be the main motive. Or if you’re adorning yourself because you don’t believe that you are beautiful without those things, such as make up, then that is an insecurity motive.

I wear jewelry and have my ears pierced(however, I’m thinking now that the pain isn’t worth my initial desire). I normally do not wear jewelry or clothes for that matter to impress people; if I catch myself doing that, I know it’s sinful and try to turn away from that. I do not adorn myself because I believe even without I, I am created wonderfully and beautifully, and I don’t need those things to make myself beautiful. I wear jewelry, clothes, shoes, and make up because it’s fun to look nice and dress up-at other times it’s obnoxious and gets in the way. I go without make up at times to make sure that I know that I can live without it and that I’m not dependant on it.

Some say that women adorn themselves because it enhances their beauty. It may enhance our beauty, but we are still created beautiful without it. That’s the main thought that we need to keep in mind.

Maybe it’s not that complicated of a decision, but it’s hard for me to explain in logical, thought out sentences. Perhaps after you read this, it sounds illogical. It may be, but I’m trying my hardest. I still have a lot to learn though, so bear with me! J

September 25^th Sunday

Sundays are super hard for me. I miss my church-especially the worship(Vineyard worship, at least where I attend seems so free, and I love it for that)-and I miss my youth group. And I miss my family so much. Sometimes I just want to go home, especially when the “community” life gets difficult. I love the people here for sure, it’s just hard to be with the same people every single day. And I’m still getting used to this new schedule where I can’t just go and be by myself whenever I want. I love it here though, and I know that I am doing God’s will by being here. Prayer would be greatly appreciated though. Thanks! I’ll blog again next Sunday!

PS I'll be posting some pics on Facebook-there are some of Ouray; it's such a beautiful place. :)

First week at Semester!

So I wrote a few things during the week, so that I wouldn't have to go back over every day and try to think of what occurred. Here are my musings over the past nine days. Enjoy!

September 10, 2011

Already, even after only a day of being here, Summit Semester is better than anything I’ve ever participated in or heard of. For instance, at what school or program do the students make the rules? This morning, the director of Summit Semester, Dustin, along with all the staff, left my thirty classmates and I to formulate our main values along with rules and guidelines. We spent over two hours discussing values most important to us, definitions of values, important rules, and necessary guidelines. Finally we nailed it down. Our main purpose or mission statement is Imago Dei, which stands for the Image of God. We are image bearers of Christ and our purpose is to reflect his character. The values that we chose were humility, integrity, unity, and excellence in dedication. Then we formulated some basic rules\guidelines(curfews, language, no complaining, etc). Of course, we disagreed at times(I shouldn't say we, because I didn't give many ideas. I'm still getting out of my little shell.), however, we all ended up agreeing on our values and rules. One rule is to not complain-a bit difficult to me, especially when hiking. Hehe. But I'm here to be challenged, so no complaining would go along with my challenges. :) One of our main guidelines is Matthew 18:15-19(which is not talking about prayer) which talks about conflicts among the brethren. If one of us has a conflict with another person, we need to talk to them about it personally. If that doesn’t work, we gather two or three brothers who understand the situation and talk to the person at fault about it. If that doesn’t work either, we then bring it to the whole “family” and discuss it. If none of those work, we take the issue to the director. I think this procedure is very intelligent-especially since we’re following Christ’s model of communication. I love it because we’re a family here, or at least becoming one. We’re going to be learning how to be honest and loving with one another, especially in communicating. And coming from my stubborn, non-communicative family(no offense, guys), myself included, I definitely need to learn this lesson.

So it's the first day here, and I’m already being challenged in my character. Learning to communicate and not complain are not the only areas I'm being challenged in. Being away from my family my comfortable environment for the first time and being among strangers is a major struggle for me right now, but God has placed me here for a reason. I know I need to learn to be more independent and be myself(whoever that is.) and get out of my comfort zone. So that’s why I’m here. There will be times when I really want to go home though, but that’s when I rely on God’s grace to get me through it. Plus, the people here all love Jesus and want to live like he did, just as I do. So I’m excited to get to know all of them and grow and be challenged with them.

September 12, 2011

Well, it’s the end of the third full day here. Honestly, it feels like I’ve been here for a week. I’m not exactly sure why that is. It’s not a bad thing though. It feels as though I’m at the two week Summit again or some kind of Bible camp that will end in a week, but then I realize that I’m here for three months. Crazyness! It’s super exciting, though. I’m getting to know my classmates daily and really enjoy their company, personalities, talents, desires, etc. I really love being in a place where everyone loves Jesus and really wants to learn how to think. It’s so exhilerating.

Today I hiked three miles in about three hours. Yup, me, the hater of hiking. And I tried my hardest to do it without complaining. When I stopped looking at where my feet were going and glanced around at the scenery, I was in awe. This is probably the most beautiful spot in Colorado, I have ever been. It’s so secluded and covered in evergreen trees, oak trees, and lots of brush. There are mountains and hills everywhere you look. This area also houses black bear(I saw lots of poop today!), elk, deer, squirrels, birds, etc. It’s so lovely here. I’m definitely excited to live in this area for three months.

We also had our first day of classes today. Mike Mandt started us off with biology, evolution vs. creation, young earth vs. new earth, and some physics. I understood most of it, except for the physics. That’s kind of where I turned my brain off because I had no clue what he was talking about. I guess that’s where my personal research comes in. I think I'll wait for that until I go home though.

As I continue to get settled in here, I am struggling with being disciplined and scheduled like I usually am, and not in a legalistic manner. It’s hard to focus on prayer when I’m usually always around people, and it’s difficult to sit down and read my Bible when I want to be playing games with my new friends. But I’m hoping in the next couple of days when I get used to the schedule here, I’ll be able to start focusing more on my spiritual disciplines. Speaking of, Numbers awaits me!

September 16^th 2011

On Tuesday night Summit Semester was Baumanated! Dr. Michael Bauman arrived, in other words. He’s the scariest teacher I’ve ever experienced in my life. He calls on everyone at random and asks the most difficult questions; then he questions and attacks every single answer you give-even if he agrees with it(though we can never tell if he does since he's attacking it). But he does it for our own good. He wants us to think, not just give answers that we’ve heard or learned. He desires for us to prove our answers and our reasons. And he wants us to know why we believe what we believe. So I know it’ll make me a better thinker in the end, but he terrifies me right now. I'm sure in time I'll get used to his methods and hopefully start sharing my own opinions. I got called on for the first time today, and my heart started thumping rapidly. Haha… Everyone looks and sounds foolish when they answer though, not just me. So that makes it a bit easier.

Dr. Bauman teaches us Tuesday night through Saturday afternoon. He teaches three classes-each an hour an a half long. Those classes are History of Christian Theology(most familiar with), Politics and Christianity(most challenging), and English Literature(most favorite). I'd love to explain everything I'm learning about in those classes, however, it would take way to long. So you'll just have to read my thousands of pages of notes when I get home. :) I'm learning so much, and am really thinking about everything-we're supposed to end up with writer's cramp and mind cramp by the end of class.

September 17^th 2011

Today during class, we debated about women and men’s roles in the church. This is my least favorite discussion because I don’t know how to support my side very well. But I’m learning how to. Anyway, Dr. Bauman brought up something I’ve never thought about. The first church had to start their church from scratch. Just think of it: how to worship, what passages to read, what order everything goes in, what roles people take, etc. Churches these days think they have trouble trying to decide on these issues, but at least we have a pattern to follow. The same goes for the Hebrew historians. They were some of the first historians, and had to formulate their own way of writing biblical history, without any models to follow. Those are just some ideas I've been thinking about. God presents many things that I've never appreciated that I should be grateful for.

The books we’ve begun reading are the following: Experiment In Criticism by C.S. Lewis(extremely difficult to follow and understand, but interesting), Historians of the Christian Tradition by Michael Bauman and Martin Klauber(Thickest book I've ever seen, but extremely fascinating), Church History in Plain Language by Bruce Shelley(my favorite so far), and Of Wealth and Poverty by Ronald Nash(haven't started it yet).

Here is a typical schedule of my week:

Mondays-no classes. We'll be taking some trips(tomorrow we'll go to an old mining town;next week we'll go camping)-either day trips or overnight trips. Or we'll just have free days.

Tuesdays- family meetings(where we discuss our week, prayer requests, problems, etc), 90 minutes of solitude with God, an hour of exercise, an hour and a half of study time, and an hour and a half of class(from Bauman). We also have three hours of work crew(working on the property or in the kitchen or in the lodges). And small group at night.

Wednesday- Saturday9 to 12 is class by Bauman, then 90 minutes later in the day either afternoon or evening. An hour and a half of study time, free time, three hour work crew(Friday), exercise(Thursdays and Saturdays).

Sundays- church, eating in the park, and internet time from 12 to 4. Then an optional movie\discussion time in the evening.

We'll also be getting other professors throughout the Semester-some that I'm very much looking forward to!

Well I have to go! The last portion was a little rushed and not put together very well, but hopefully it makes sense. Thanks for reading and if you have any questions, just email me! I'll look forward to posting again in a week. :)

Summit Semester.....

...here I come!

Described by the website, Summit Semester is... "nestled in the Rocky Mountains a beautiful, modern facility where 30 students will learn from some of the top Christian scholars in the country. Our environment will nurture spiritual formation and hone intellectual skills, while also helping our students develop strong interpersonal relationships. Our goal is to prepare students for the challenges they will face at the university while motivating them to be influential leaders, shaping the ideas of culture for the glory of God and the good of our society."

Being accepted to Summit Semester and God providing the funds and great timing is seriously a dream come true. I discovered Summit Semester at a 12 day long worldview conference/seminar that I attended this May with my sister, Mary Kate. At the Summit Ministries I sat in class for about 6 hours a day(which is about 72 hours total) listening to lectures about worldviews, abortion, same-sex marriage, philosophy, politics, literature, apologetics, and much more. I never imagined liking it as much as I did. I loved it. I wanted to learn so much more. As soon as I got home, I starting reading all the "intellectual" books I had purchased at Summit. I wanted to go back to the classroom and learn all of the subjects over again.

That's when I started thinking about Summit Semester. There I would be able to learn about all those subjects I fell in love with even more in depth. And I would be able to belong to a community of believers who desired the same things I did: to glorify God through learning about the world, past and present, around us, and being challenged in so many ways. I would also be able to be "independent" and leave home alone-very challenging to me, but also a great desire, for some odd reason(probably cuz I'm 18) :) Summit Semster was in my mind for a few weeks, but then it faded, and I decided to go to Salt Lake Community College in the fall. But then God started putting Summit on my heart. So I filled out an application, sent it off, and waited for the response. I got an email from the director asking to have a phone interview. This I did with much anxiety( I hate talking on the phone, and I hate interviews). I thought that my answers to his questions would definitely deny my acceptance to the program. One week later I received another email saying that I was accepted! I was also granted a scholarship that provided for the funds that I was lacking( a major part of my decision making).

So for the past six weeks since being accepted, I have been preparing to go to Summit-working to save money, spending time with friends and family, shopping, meeting all my classmates on Facebook, saying goodbye, and packing. I leave tomorrow morning at six. I'm finally leaving for Summit Semester! I can't believe this is real. I'm so thankful to God for his provision and for the wise counsel he has placed in my life. Without those, I wouldn't be going to Summit Semester. All praise and glory goes to him. I am so excited to learn, meet new people, be challenged, and serve him in every way possible in the next three months-and forever.

So here I go, off to Summit Semester!

Another year awaits me...

I have dubbed 2010 as my year of freedom. Freedom from fears, insecurities, jealousies, lusts, and so much more.

This all began in April 2010 when I began opening my heart up to a few close people. Ever since I can remember, I've kept my emotions and feelings bottled up inside of me. Every once in a while, it would become to much for me, but I still kept it to myself. I just cried it out. In April, I opened up to my Mom about what was going inside of me-about how scared I was of people, getting a job, driving, doing missions work, going to college, being by myself...anything you can imagine. She suggested I get prayer at church, which I did on April 11th. Yup. I have all the dates down. :) Michele Jahne prayed for me and continued to pray for me as I struggled through my fears.

April 24th I attended a Beth Moore simulcast called(ironically), "So long insecurity, you've been a bad friend to us". I learned so much in those few hours, and God began to set me free from insecurities I've struggled with for so long.

April 30th-31st I went to Denver with my youth group for Acquire the Fire. Freedom reigned there as well. God showed me places in my life where I needed to change, people I needed to forgive, and that I needed to take off the fake mask I was wearing.

During the month of May I wrote an essay for school, but also to let people "see" my struggles and my heart through writing. See, I communicate so much better at writing than through speaking. Throughout the summer, my sister in law, Ashley, and sister, Mary Kate read it. It made me feel so joyful knowing that others knew what I was going through and that they didn't condemn me like I thought they would. Through this, I learned that Satan had me in such a strong bondage because of my silence. Keeping everything to myself made me so weary and ashamed. When I started to speak up(or write), his grip on me loosened.

The summer held many struggles for me; however, through these struggles I learned so much and was freed even more. Mexico in July was amazing. I was so blessed by the people I met from Colorado and so blessed that my relationships with them have continued. In Mexico I really got out of my comfort zone which was incredible for me.

At the end of August, I received my first job at Maceys in the produce department. At first, I was sooooo nervous and scared. But after a while I got the hang of it and made a few friends. For the last four months while working, I stayed in my little shell, but little by little I'm making more friends, talking to more people, and getting out of my comfort zone. I even make announcements over the intercom!
And my fear of driving is slowly diminishing, especially as I am almost at the finish line-I'm planning on getting my license by March. This year has been so amazing. I am a completely changed person, and my journal is proof for that!

My relationship with Jesus has strengthened so much over the past year, which is good since that's my New Year's Resolution every year. Yup. Just one resolution. To grow closer to my astounding Savior. He is amazing and so surprising. I LOVE living for Jesus.



I pray that this new year holds even more than last year held, for you too.



"The enemy has been defeated, death couldn't hold you down. I'm gonna lift my voice in victory. I'm gonna make your praises loud." Hillsong United

College....

In my freshman year, I started thinking about college. By the middle/end of the year, I had "decided" on doing CollegePlus, an online program that lets you obtain your Bachelor's degree by the time you have graduated from highschool. By my sophomore year, I knew that God didn't want me to be headed in that direction. See, the big reason I wanted to do this was because of my fear of the unknown and my fear of people and, honestly, my fear of pretty much everything. I wanted to stay at home in Stockton in my tiny little comfort zone. But, thankfully, God set me straight. :)
During my sophomore and junior years, I researched Bible colleges because I felt God leading me towards a Bible college. I knew it would be scary to go away from home, but thinking He wanted me to do this, I decided to obey in spite of my fear. By the middle of my junior year, I had decided on Calvary Chapel Bible College in California. This Bible College has courses in youth ministry, missions, and Spanish, all of which I wanted to study. It's inexpensive, pretty close to home, and the theology is very similar to mine. For over a year, this was my decision. Anytime someone asked me where I was going to college, I told them, "Calvary Chapel Bible College". I was super excited for the entire thing: for the beautiful campus, the small college "population", the dorms, the location, the courses....everything. Then......in August(2010) I, just for fun, got on the college website and began talking to someone from the college about the courses. At that time, I found out that there were no youth ministry courses, and the spanish course was not very in depth. So my decision flew out the window. I felt....terrible? scared? anxious? stressed? hahaha...so many different feelings. Since then I have been researching tons of Bible colleges. Everywhere; from Cali to Indiana to Kansas. All kinds of different theologies, however, none "way out there". All different prices; from $23,000 a year to $7,000 a year. There were so many options, and I had no clue how I was ever going to decide. I felt like God wasn't near me at all;like he had deserted me. Good thing, I don't follow after my feelings, eh? I even began questioning whether or not God still wanted me to do youth ministry and missions or whether he wanted me to do something else. Then even more options came up, such as urban youth ministry or church youth ministry....As you can see(maybe), it has been quite the stressful two and a half months, especially since I have been working 32 hours a week and studying super hard for my ACT. But right now, I feel very peaceful. And I'll tell you why!
I THINK my plans have turned around in a circle. They went from going to Bible College in a different state, being independent, having my own friends, being away from home, pursuing youth ministry and missions, and being in a Christian environment to living at home for PERHAPS two years, working part time, buying a car, HOPEFULLY getting more involved with the leadership at the youth group at my church, taking a bigger responsibility in the Mexico missions, and get this, getting my Associates Degree in Spanish at Salt Lake Community College. This is all a big MAYBE. Please, don't say, " I told you so". I've been scared to tell people this because I think they'll say that to me. :) I always told my family I would never work at Maceys. Guess where I work? Then I told them I would never go to SLCC. Guess where I might be going? haha..I love it! I'm still waiting on God to see if this is what he wants me to do. And it's pretty cool, because even though I'm putting my degrees in youth ministry and missions on hold, I'll still be pursuing them at home, just in a different way than I thought! And I'll be able to keep my relationships with my "bible study girl's" and hopefully be able to do more with them since I'll have my license and a car. And the funny thing is, Micah might be doing dual enrollment at SLCC next year, so we'd be all cute and ride together. haha. like I said, I love it! and also like I said, it's a big maybe. I don't have to decide right now anyway. The deadline for colleges are in July. One of the biggest reasons for not doing a Bible college is money. I refuse to get into debt over college like so many people do. And I don't have the money that Bible colleges require. This way, I'll be able to save up a lot of money, and if God wants me to go to Bible college later on, I'll have the funds.
My theory is that, right now, there are way too many possibilities out there that I could do, and I think it's to soon to decide "what I want to do with my life" or what God wants me to do with my life. Staying at home for a year or two and slowly getting out on my own, maybe by then I'll know what to do or where to go.
If you got this far, thanks for bearing with me. This whole topic is super confusing for me in my brain, and getting it out on "paper" is even more confusing. :)