Third Week At Summit!!

September 27^th Tuesday

Yesterday I completed the dreaded six mile hike to V Rock. Thankfully, it wasn’t as bad as I had expected. I imagined it to be super steep and slippery with my no-traction-shoes(I didn’t break in my hiking shoes, so I couldn’t wear them). But it was actually a very enjoyable hike. I hiked up the mountain with my friend, Maggie. She hikes and breathes at the same rate that I do, so when we took breaks neither of us were annoyed at the other. I don’t enjoy hiking with hikers who never stop to breathe. I hike with lots of breaks so that I can actually breathe, enjoy the scenery, and take pictures. I got a great work out too, so all in all, hike=success. Our next hike is in two weeks, I believe, at the sand dunes. That should be interesting.

September 28^th Wednesday

“Is there any forgiveness for the things I’ve done? Is there pardon for sinners, I know that I’m one, before you. Would you take this heart of foulness and make it clean again? Would you pour on me your mercy as I confess my sin before you? Point my feet in the way they should go. Place your holy spirit in me. Lead me in the ways everlasting. I long to have a heart that’s pure. I need to have a heart that’s pure. Before you. Oh Lord, forgive me. I need your mercy. Oh Lord, forgive me.”

This is my “theme song” right now. I’m feeling overwhelmed with sin and struggles. For some reason, I didn’t think God would be working in me like he is now. I thought my time here would be all about relationships and learning, not so much about discovering my weaknesses and putting my hope and trust in Christ. But I had it wrong. That’s not a bad thing though. It’s just coming to grip with reality instead of continuing my beliefs about how I thought Semester was supposed to be-some kind of paradise, I guess. I don’t know why I ever thought that.

How did Christianity emerge from Jewish roots? That is a question from my “Church History in Plain Language” book that I will be quizzed on tomorrow morning. The Jews had been expecting a Messiah for thousands of years, but when Jesus came, they didn’t believe he was the one. The disciples, however, did. The Jews rejected Jesus; the disciples accepted him. Stephen, the book says, believed that the temple and the law were temporary while the Pharisees believed they were forever. Everything the Old Testament describes in relation to the law pointed towards Christ. I think that the main difference between Stephen and the Pharisees’ belief (in my own language) was that Stephen believed the law pointed towards Christ and a new law while the Pharisees believed that the law pointed towards their own righteousness. Hopefully this makes sense. It’s a new concept that I’m trying to wrap my mind around.

Tonight for our first lecture of the week, we discussed movies. Bauman focused a lot on the importance of understanding how film producers and directors make movies; they want you to feel or think a certain way. The angles in which the cameras are placed, the music, the themes, the film clichés, etc are all important to watch for when watching a movie. Everything is strategically placed somewhere for a reason and a purpose. So from now on, I’ll definitely be trying harder to watch movies critically and watch for those exact thing.

What really hit me(when he called on me which caused me to look like a complete fool L) was I don’t know why I choose to watch the movies I do. Violence doesn’t affect me, but does that mean I’m desensitized to it? Sexuality and language really affect me in a bad way; I find myself thinking impure thoughts and cursing(in my head) a lot if a movie focuses on those topics. But what is my rating system? When is a movie “bad” or good”? Am I watching movies that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy? And if not, should I be watching those movies? Honestly, this topic of movies is so hard for me, probably just for selfish reasons. I want to watch movies without questioning them too much; I want to be entertained. I don’t want to quit watching movies. But I’m understanding that I need to have a critical view when I’m watching movies. I shouldn’t just be entertained, but figure out what the producers are trying to get me to think and feel and do. And honestly, it’s so hard to be obedient to God when it comes to sacrificing my wants(even for something so small as movies) for the purity He desires in my life. Entertainment is one thing that the world is so good at throwing at me without my knowing that it’s being thrown at me, without knowing that it’s consuming me. Ugh. My brain hurts from thinking so much.

September 30^th Friday

Philosophy is killer. We’ve discussed it the past two days in Church History class. It confuses me profusely, but it also makes me want to learn more about it. I’m excited for philosopher, J.P. Moreland, to come teach us later on this semester. And I’m excited to read “Philosophy in Plain Language”. Maybe then I’ll understand it better. Hopefully.

October 1^st Saturday

I discovered something today. I want to solve every problem this world has to offer me. And I want to solve it right now. By the end of our discussions in class, I want to figure out how to end abortion, if Polycarp’s martyrdom account is really true, how to fight terrorism and war justly, if philosophy and theology can be used simultaneously, how to choose a right spouse, etc. But these topics and issues cannot be solved in an hour and a half of thinking and discussing and debating. They can’t be solved in a day or a week or maybe even in a year. I’m finally understanding that Bauman doesn’t want us to solve the issues in class. He is just teaching us to question and think carefully about everything. When we’re presented with a problem(especially when we leave here), we need to look at it and dig around for answers. Before accepting something at face value, before saying I believe something, I need to think about why I accept or believe it. I need to question everything.

He keeps emphasizing the problem with Christians. Christians aren’t loving God with all their minds. They emphasize loving God with all their heart, soul, and strength. But not their minds. “Christians just skate on the surface of ideas.” We never dig deep to think about things we believe and why. We need to change this. That’s why I’m here, although, I never realized the problem was this complex. When we reason for things we need to base it soley on Christ, not on the church. The church is flawed and led by flawed human beings. “It’s Christ-ianity, not church-ianity.” Our churches may hold traditions or beliefs that can definitely be wrong or faulty. Don’t base beliefs on the church. Base your beliefs on Christ. Ask yourself “If Christ isn’t thinking it or doing it, should I?” Christ needs to be in charge, not the church?

I think this lesson is very important, and I plan on trying my hardest to follow these guidelines and trying to teach others about it.

October 2^nd Sunday

Saturday nights are a highlight for me. Dr. Bauman reads from his “memoirs” book for an hour. His life stories and experiences are hilarious and very interesting. When he reads, it’s nice to see him as a “real” person instead of an interrogator or teacher. And it’s crazy to think about him as a teenager or a marine. haha..I guess you’d have to know him now to understand what I’m talking about.

Yesterday I went on a walk all by myself for some alone time. I’ve realized that I’m pretty much not human without alone time. Anyway, the walk was incredible. All the leaves are changing colors, it smells like fall, and it’s not freezing cold yet. I took lots and lots of pictures and just enjoyed God’s beautiful creation and his company.

PS I thought I'd add this. I think I am finally adjusted to life here at Summit Semester: the intense schedule, tons of reading and studying, small groups, meals, lectures, exercising, solitude, etc. So thank you very much for your prayers. I appreciate them a lot! Relationships here seem to be going to a deeper(and more difficult for some) level as we get to know each other better. I'm very thankful for that.

Thanks for reading! Hopefully it's not too boring or confusing. :)