My Problem with Evil

Throughout the week, especially on Wednesday, I struggled a lot with the topic of evil. Subconsciously, I think I have always had questions regarding this issue, but I was too scared to ask them. I feared there not being sufficient answers to my questions, and did not want my faith to be shaken by not having answers. Hence, the questions have remained unasked. However, being faced with them this week, I was forced to ask them it seemed like. Although emotionally and mentally draining to think and question, having a clearer understanding of God and my faith is so worth it.

I will try now to explain the problem I faced. A few weeks ago I wondered, "If God knew that the majority of his creation would turn from him and ultimately end up in hell, why did he even bother creating us?" In one of the articles I read this week, "The Theistic Explanation of Evil", it explained that God created us because he wanted to love us and he wanted us to love and worship him in return. I think I misunderstood this view, and took it to mean something completely different. I know it sounds awful, but I thought of it like this: God created humans to love and worship him, and if they chose not to love and worship him, they would end up in hell. It seemed as though God acted selfishly. I hated thinking of him as selfish because deep down, I knew selfishness contradicted his nature. He is all good! He cannot be selfish. But I didn't know what else to think.

After discussing it with my sister, Mary Kate, I came to a different conclusion. Instead of focusing on the negative side of humans, evil, I realized the gift of goodness open to all of us. God is God. He does not need anything or anybody. Yet, out of love and kindness God chose to give us life and being. He did not have to, but graciously chose to do so. Life, in that sense, is a great and wonderful privilege. What a gift it is to breathe, to have sight, to enjoy pleasures, to speak. Everything we enjoy can be said to be a gift from God that none deserve. Not only did God grant us the gift of life, but he also presented us with the gift of free will. He knew that we would make ourselves our own gods and reject him, yet he still gave us this great gift. He did not force us to love and worship him, although, our adoration does belong to God. He let us choose. What a gift! Not only did God give us the gift of life and free will, but God gave us a second chance. He sent Christ, also the perfect God, who deserves our everything. Christ took on himself the evil we put in the place of God. Jesus did not have to do this because none of us deserve a second chance! Yet he chose to out of love, such love that I cannot comprehend. Not only did God give us the gift of life, free will, and forgiveness, but God gave us the opportunity to live with him for all eternity, like we were supposed to in the first place. Through Jesus' resurrection, all have the privilege to surrender their lives to Jesus and to gain the hope of new life in paradise. The all good, all loving, all powerful God of the universe, although he did not have to, chose to give us life, free will, forgiveness, and eternal life, in addition to all the other gifts we enjoy on earth today.

After considering all of this, God has revealed to me that he is NOT a selfish God, but the complete opposite: benevolent, loving, gracious, good, compassionate, kind, generous, noble.... His love is incredible and so hard to comprehend. This revelation has revealed to me how much I take for granted my very existence, not to mention all the blessings God pours out upon me. As I learn more and more about this awesome God that I serve, I am humbled and understand how much worship and thanksgiving I owe to him. Yet even when I fail in those areas, his mercies are abundant and his forgiveness always stands. How incredible is that?

I could go on and on about what I'm discovering, but I'll stop here and save it for other blogs. I'll end with a quote from the hymn, "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross": "Were the whole realm of nature mine, that were an offering far too small; love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all."